More Maxine

Medicine for Love

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds "

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely.."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult diapers?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

Maxine

Life's too Short...

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right,
forgive the ones who don't,
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it'd be easy;
they just promised it'd be worth it."

The Window Cleaner

Happy Hump Day!

Firefighter Supervisors laid off for not speaking spanish

You Know You're a Nurse When:

You believe that all bleeding stops ... eventually.

You find humor in other people's stupidity.

You believe that 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm.

Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.

You plan your dinner break whilst lavaging an overdose patient.

Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers.

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group.

You have the bladder capacity of five people.

Your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.

You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance.

You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign a self discharge form so you don't have to deal with them any longer.

You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis.

You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet isn't it".

You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "q" word when it is even remotely calm.

You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers at the grocery store.

You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".

You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".

You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

You think that caffeine should be available in I/V form.

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.

You play poker by betting ectopics on ECG strips.

You want the lab to perform a "dumb shit profile".

You have been exposed to so many X-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control.

You believe that waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset.

Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 hours / days / weeks / months / years)?".

You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food.

Your idea of gambling is an blood alcohol level pool instead of a football pool.

You shock someone with an unrecognizable rhythm ... until you get one you DO recognize.

You have ever referred to someone's death as a 'transfer to part 3 accomodation'.

You can identify what kind of diarrhea it is just by the smell.

You will never name a daughter "Melena" or anything along those lines.. and laugh to yourself every time you hear someone by that name

You call subcutaneous emphysema "Rice Krispies".

Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard.

Revere rotary may be at end of road

REVERE - City Council President Daniel Rizzo wants state highway officials to consider razing Brown Circle and making it an intersection with traffic signals in a bid to end a string of tractor trailer accidents in the rotary.

Highway officials were weighing the proposal even as their counterparts praised local emergency officials with responding quickly to last weekend’s accident.

State Police cited the driver for Parsons Transportation with speeding and marked lane violations after he lost control of his tractor, spilling 10,000 gallons of heating oil. The crash shut down the busy rotary until mid-afternoon and environmental cleanup crews worked through Monday night and into Tuesday removing oil from the salt water marsh off Route 107.

The accident was the latest to occur in the circle, yards away from two service stations. Fire Chief Eugene Doherty estimates Brown Circle has been the site of seven tractor trailer accidents in 10 years.

Rizzo’s is not the only plan for ending the accidents. Doherty wants to see reforms made in hauling requirements for truck drivers. He also wants the rotary where Route 60, Squire Road and Route 107 meet posted with billboards warning drivers of big trucks to slow down.

State Sen. Anthony Galluccio has filed legislation prohibiting trucks carrying flammable materials from traveling through rotaries.

An Abenaqui Carriers tanker truck carrying over 5,000 gallons of gasoline flipped over in Brown Circle six years ago, spilling fuel and tying up traffic.

Galluccio’s bill would only allow truck drivers carrying fuel loads to use rotaries if a safer alternative route is not available. Echoing Doherty’s concerns, Galluccio has also filed legislation prohibiting truck firms from paying drivers to carry flammable loads based on the size of the load or by number of deliveries the driver makes.

Doherty said some firms pay drivers “as per load” promising them an hourly rate provided they deliver the load in a specified time period. He said the time allotted to the driver is often too short, prompting truckers to use excessive speed.

Galluccio also wants the Legislature to debate increased penalties and safety standards for firms and drivers transporting flammable liquids and explosive materials.

Born this date: Tammi Terrell

Tammi Terrell (April 29, 1945 – March 16, 1970) was a Grammy Award-nominated American soul singer, most notable for her association with Motown and her duets with Marvin Gaye. As a teenager she recorded for the Scepter/Wand, Try Me and Checker record labels. She signed with Motown in 1965 and enjoyed modest success as a solo singer. Once she was paired with Gaye in 1967, her stardom grew, but later that year she collapsed on stage into Gaye's arms during a performance. She was then diagnosed with a brain tumor which eventually led to her death at the age of 24.

I always loved how Erma Bombeck wrote:

If I Had My Life To Live Over
by Erma Bombeck
The following was written by the late Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had a fatal disease.

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

Revere woman indicted on drug charges

SALEM - A Revere woman police say they caught with a gram of cocaine in her purse at Peabody District Court last month was indicted Friday afternoon by an Essex County grand jury.

Marissa Connors, 33, of 570 Mountain Ave., is charged with trafficking over 14 grams of cocaine as well as unlawful possession of methadone, a Class B substance and unlawful possession of alprazolam, a Class E substance, in connection with her arrest in March.

She was arrested March 10 at Peabody District Court by a state trooper who reportedly had received information that she had illegal drugs on her person.

Authorities say they seized about one-gram of cocaine from her purse.

Police said they then searched her car and seized about 17 grams of cocaine, found in the center console along with other reported illegal drugs.

A conviction on the drug trafficking case carries a minimum mandatory punishment of three years in state prison, with no chance of early parole.

Assistant District Attorney Marsha Slingerland is prosecuting the case for the commonwealth.

Indictments are a legal process that allows cases to be transferred from District Court to Superior Court, allowing for a more severe punishment. It is not an indication of guilt.

Lynn Item

Interesting story from the Washington Post

Pearls Before Breakfast
Can one of the nation's great musicians cut through the fog of a D.C. rush hour? Let's find out.

HE EMERGED FROM THE METRO AT THE L'ENFANT PLAZA STATION AND POSITIONED HIMSELF AGAINST A WALL BESIDE A TRASH BASKET. By most measures, he was nondescript: a youngish white man in jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt and a Washington Nationals baseball cap. From a small case, he removed a violin. Placing the open case at his feet, he shrewdly threw in a few dollars and pocket change as seed money, swiveled it to face pedestrian traffic, and began to play.

It was 7:51 a.m. on Friday, January 12, the middle of the morning rush hour. In the next 43 minutes, as the violinist performed six classical pieces, 1,097 people passed by. Almost all of them were on the way to work, which meant, for almost all of them, a government job. L'Enfant Plaza is at the nucleus of federal Washington, and these were mostly mid-level bureaucrats with those indeterminate, oddly fungible titles: policy analyst, project manager, budget officer, specialist, facilitator, consultant.

Washington Post - Full Story & Video

When all else fails...

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST:

ARIES: You're not sure where a loved one is coming from, but you can find out with a little gentle investigation. TAURUS: You will commit yourself to taking better care of someone, possibly yourself. GEMINI: You'll be attracted to the person who has fresh ideas, and repelled by anyone that has the possibility of being a bore. CANCER: You'll make a fascinating connection with someone who shares one of your rather ethereal interests. LEO: You love with velocity. Be careful not to overpower anyone with your energy. VIRGO: Loosen up on your expectations of a loved one and you will be pleasantly surprised by what occurs. LIBRA: Decorate with the one you love. Your taste gets even better (if that's possible) because of shared decisions. SCORPIO: Loving someone makes everything seem easier. Your decisions will reflect what's best for all. SAGITTARIUS: Your deft handling of a delicate matter earns you tremendous respect. CAPRICORN: You may be put in an awkward position, but you will turn it into an opportunity for romance. AQUARIUS: You are inclined to say what's on your mind and loved ones receive the information to positive effect. PISCES: Go along for the ride with adventurous friends and you'll have an exciting encounter of your own.

COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Taurus and Libra are both ruled by Venus and have a great deal in common. These two strive to make the world beautiful by arranging it in a personally pleasing way. Both relax when they are in a lovely environment. And though they have discerning taste, they are still open-minded when it comes to delighting the senses. Ideal dates this weekend include nature, gardens and fresh foods.

TGIF

Not many more college days left!

Don't try to say you didn't see something different...

Have a Happy Administrative Professional's Day

Men's view on Wives

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. -Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. -Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" -Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. -Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' -Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' -Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one won't.' -James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. -Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... -Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. -Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' -Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' -Anonymous

Enjoy your Hump Day!

Today is Earth Day...

Iced Coffee Day is April 21st

Barbie Finally Ages...

The Recipe for Viagra

I knew they would finally release the ingredients in Viagra!


3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat

HANDBOOK for 2009

HEALTH:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games.

7. Read more books than you did in 2008.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily and while you walk, smile.


PERSONALITY:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a20school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of
the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


SOCIETY:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

............And last, but not least,

40. Send this to everyone you care about ~ I just did!

First version of this I heard

Space command to Zoom
All systems are go for your message to Michelle!
Hey, Michelle!
It’s your birthday!
I’m in charge of the stars
And I’m here to say,
’cause Michelle,
You’re the BIG STAR today!

My name is Zoom
And I live on the moon
But I came down to earth
Just to sing you this tune
Hey, Michelle,
It’s your birthday today!

A present for you
I wanted to find
An outerspace creature
A one of a kind!
A wild whop or a kukelchoo,
An apple drop or a buzzardstew
Or maybe a 3-eyed tickleshay
For your birthday

Did you ask:
“uh, what’s a kukelchoo?”
Well, up on the moon it’s nothing new
But that won’t do for you,
On your birthday!

I searched behind the clouds and stars
I even zoomed my bike to Mars
And met my friend the saucer man
And he said:
“Hey Zoom I got the bestest plan!
What your friend needs is something new,
So how about a song, just from YOU?”

And so tonight when you’re in bed
I’ll be singing to you as I zoom overhead
Singing, Michelle! Happy Birthday
Singing, Michelle! Happy Birthday
Singing, Michelle! Happy Birthday

To you!

Happy Birthday, Michelle!
See you next year!

Westlife - I wanna grow old with you

My friend Megan turned me on to this song, it's beautiful...hope you like it!

It's a beautiful day...sun's out

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST:

ARIES: Though you'll feel like displaying your deep affection, do some research first to find out how best to go about it. Then wait for the undeniably great moment that comes Sunday. TAURUS: You will be given gifts and treats from people who enjoy you immensely. GEMINI: In a mischievous mood, you may take an opposing view to that of your loved one just for entertainment. CANCER: Whatever you are "supposed" to do will be likely abandoned for a choice that seems like much more fun. LEO: You are lucky when you shower the people you love with affection and don't hold back. VIRGO: A problem will be resolved and love can resume as it was. LIBRA: New social horizons are opening to you, which may require additions to your wardrobe. SCORPIO: You'll enjoy spending money on the one you love. SAGITTARIUS: Entertain at home. You'll take great pride and pleasure in how well it all comes together. CAPRICORN: An unconventional person intrigues you. Strike up a conversation and you'll be charmed. AQUARIUS: You have fine instinct for smoothing over rough patches and living in harmony. PISCES: You will be motivated by an industrious partner. Together you can move mountains.

COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Aries and Aquarius are a hot pairing and may feel inexplicably attracted to each other this weekend, considering the current dynamic between their guiding planets. There will be a circumstance to unite them. They inspire each other to reach beyond previous limitations. Neither will care what the rest of the world thinks of them. Together they form a private club of mutual admiration.

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0 , NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta .

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Full Disclosure

When selling a home,
legally the owners must disclose
everything that is wrong with it.

The Value of a Badge

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana and talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes, saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs, "Your badge! Show him your badge!"

Sex Facts

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
=============
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, or jogging 20 blocks and you don't need special sneakers!
=============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
=============
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
=============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
=============

Number 1 this date 1970

Another hump day...

MCAD: probable cause for harassment by teacher

The Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination has found probable cause that a Revere schoolteacher sexually harassed a 16-year-old boy when he was a student four years ago at Beachmont School, according to a copy of the decision.

"This is the first step, in a long process, of my client being vindicated," said John Davis, a lawyer who filed the complaint with the state panel on behalf of the boy and his mother.

The complaint alleges Edward A. Winter, a veteran Revere teacher, called the boy numerous homosexual slurs "and other derogatory remarks" when he was the boy's computer teacher at the school in the 2004-2005 school year.

Winter did not return a telephone call seeking comment. He is no longer employed in the Revere public schools.

The complaint also names the city of Revere and the Revere School Committee. Daniel Doherty, the Revere city solicitor who represents the city and school department, did not return a call seeking comment.

The Globe is withholding the name of the boy and his mother, who filed the discrimination complaint, under the newspaper's policy of protecting the names of purported victims of sexual harassment unless given consent.

The complaint was filed in September 2006 with the MCAD, a state panel that investigates allegations against public employees.

An investigator at the MCAD, relying in part on testimony of the boy, issued its finding last month, Davis said.

"It was a pleasant surprise, because so few cases filed with the MCAD end in a probable cause finding," said Davis, who specializes in employment law.

The boy was in the sixth grade when the alleged harassment took place, Davis said. In the complaint, the boy said that because of the teacher's actions, "I felt humiliated in front of my classmates. His conduct affected my confidence, and ultimately, my performance and ability in the classroom."

The decision outlines steps that Revere school officials took to investigate the boy's complaints. It notes that on May 2, 2006, William Carey, who then was principal of Beachmont School, received separate complaints about Winter from two students. Carey started an investigation at the school, the decision states.

On May 9, 2006, Carey sent a memo to the school superintendent, stating that the investigation found "Winter had violated the Revere Public Schools' Anti-Harassment Policy as it related to verbal harassment and verbal sexual harassment," according to the decision.

On June 14, 2006, by agreement of Winter, the Revere public schools, and the Revere Teachers Association, Winter agreed to be placed on administrative leave and submit a letter of resignation with an effective date of Nov. 1, 2006, according to the decision.

The MCAD did not find probable cause on allegations of discrimination based on gender and sexual orientation. The allegations do not fall under the jurisdiction of the commission, according to the decision.

The two sides are scheduled to meet on July 20 for a conciliation meeting. Conciliation is a process similar to mediation, wherein the two parties attempt to find a resolution, including monetary compensation, Davis said.

"There are also nonmonetary compensations," he said. "In this case, I think an apology could also go a long way in terms of helping [the boy] heal."

The boy's mother said she is looking forward to resolution. "It's a huge victory for my son. Our whole point was that he was being sexually harassed."

The MCAD complaint is one of two actions the boy's family has filed against Winter. A lawsuit pending in Suffolk Superior Court also alleges sexual discrimination and seeks $4.7 million in damages. On Dec. 18, 2008, a Superior Court judge denied a motion filed by the city of Revere to dismiss the case, according to the clerk's office at Suffolk Superior Court.

Bradley A MacDonald, a Newton lawyer representing Winter in the Superior Court case, said, "Mr. Winter has denied, and will continue to deny, the allegations," MacDonald said he did not represent Winter in the MCAD complaint.

John Laymon, a Boston lawyer representing the boy in Superior Court, believes the MCAD finding could help his case. "It shows there is a valid complaint," Laymon said. "If you believe our allegations, you need to understand that young kids are very sensitive to these kinds of things, more sensitive than adults."


Boston Globe

Al Green is 63 today!

Born April 13, 1946, Albert Greene, in Forrest City, Arkansas. The son of a sharecropper, he started performing at age ten in a Forrest City quartet called the Greene Brothers; he dropped the final "e" from his last name years later as a solo artist.

Al Green is listed on Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Singers at number 14. So it should come as no surprise that at 63 he’s still able to hit all the right notes of his younger days with his most notable songs Let’s Stay Together, Call Me, and Tired of Being Alone. His new CD and tour of last year might get him his first Pop Grammy with Lay it Down.

I'm Still In Love With You

Happy Birthday, Andy!

Andy García (born Andrés Arturo García on April 12, 1956) is an Academy Award-nominated American actor. He became known in the late 1980s and 1990s, having appeared in several successful Hollywood films, including The Godfather: Part III, The Untouchables and When a Man Loves a Woman. More recently, he has starred in Ocean's Eleven and its sequels, Ocean's Twelve and Ocean's Thirteen.

García was born in Bejucal, La Habana Province, Cuba. His mother, Amelie (Menéndez), was an English teacher, and his father, René García Núñez, was an avocado farmer and attorney in Cuba and later owned a fragrance business in the United States. García has an older brother, Rene. When Garcia was five years old, the family moved to Miami, Florida after the failed Bay of Pigs Invasion. Over a period of several years they built up a million-dollar perfume company. García was raised as a Catholic and attended Miami Beach Senior High School, where he played on the basketball team. During his last year in high school he became ill with mononucleosis, which convinced him to pursue a career in acting.

In 1982, Garcia married María Victoria Lorido. He is the father of three daughters and one son: Dominik, Daniella, Alessandra and Andres. The García family lives in Los Angeles and Miami.

Garcia's niece Jackie was the longtime girlfriend of the late Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor, who was shot by intruders in their Miami-area home on November 26, 2007 and who died from his wounds on November 27, 2007. The two were home with their 18-month old daughter Jackie when the incident took place. Garcia attended Taylor's funeral, and released a statement to the Miami Herald calling Taylor a hero for saving the life of his niece and their infant daughter.

Favorite Movies: When a Man Loves a Woman, Black Rain, Internal Affairs, Desperate Measures, The Unsaid, Night Falls on Manhattan, The Godfather III and Things to do in Denver when You're Dead.

Happy Birthday, Ladies!

Say hello to the Birthday Boy!

Revere man arrested for fourth OUI sought ocean over arrest

REVERE - A local man facing prosecution for a fourth operating under the influence charge jumped onto the surf rolling onto Revere Beach rather than face arrest.

Suffolk District Attorney Daniel Conley underscored Terrance Paiva's potential menace to others on the road this week by noting that Paiva, 41, pleaded guilty in June, 2004 to motor vehicle homicide and a third offense of operating under the influence following an accident that killed Mark Ciampa, 41, who was a passenger in Paiva's pickup.

According to Conley, Paiva admitted to being intoxicated when he drove his truck into a brick wall. Prosecutors recommended a six- to nine-year jail sentence and Paiva was sentenced to four and a half years and lost his license for 15 years.

He had only been out of jail a short while last Sunday when he picked up the fourth charge of operating under the influence as well as a charge of operating with a suspended license and failing to stop for police.

A state trooper working an early morning road detail near Kelly's Roast Beef saw Paiva make an illegal left turn from Oak Island Street onto Revere Beach Boulevard. The trooper flagged down Paiva and noticed his eyes were red and smelled alcohol on his breath when she asked for his license and registration.

When the trooper returned to her cruiser, Paiva jumped out of his GMC Envoy and dashed toward the ocean, stumbling and sprawling on the pavement before running down the beach and into the water. The trooper aided by another trooper retrieved Paiva and arrested him.

According to the Suffolk District Attorney's office, Paiva told troopers while being processed for arrest that he was not drunk but high on cocaine. Prosecutors also said Paiva told troopers he had been drinking at The Cove, a beachfront bar.

He pleaded innocent to the OUI and other charges Monday in Chelsea District Court and was ordered held on $25,000 bail. Judge James Wexler ordered Paiva to return to court April 23.

“Clearly, this man is a menace and needs to be taken off the roads,” Conley said.

Lynn Daily Item

A Beach Moment

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his manhood.

A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

Never take candy from strangers

Remember when your mom used to tell you
not to take candy from strangers?




I think this is who she was talking about!

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST:

ARIES: You might be intimidating because you have discriminating tastes. Stay down to earth. TAURUS: You're in an intellectual mood and will want to spend time with those who can stimulate your mind. GEMINI: There's something appealing about the one who seems to have control all of the time -- you can't help but rock the boat just to see how this person reacts. CANCER: Vibrant, vital people are attracted to you. You'll be busy all weekend. LEO: Take your time in all matters of love. There is absolutely no rush. VIRGO: People around you think you have all the answers, and just maybe you do. LIBRA: You'll be drawn to a protective, warm-hearted person who takes the time to listen to you. SCORPIO: Those younger than you will inspire your style and your approach to love. SAGITTARIUS: Someone is fond of the sound of your laughter. Shared humor brings happiness. CAPRICORN: Share those big dreams you have for yourself and your family. AQUARIUS: New couples are forming around you. Different social configurations inspire good things in your love life. PISCES: You'll connect with fascinating people when you follow your humanitarian spirit.

COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Taurus and Aries are a strong match. Both are leaders; however, things work best this weekend if Aries lets Taurus make the plans. Taurus has a special gift for searching out the best experiences and deals around, and then communicating with such charm that people will sweeten the deal just because they feel like it. Aries enjoys getting the top-notch treatment that Taurus demands for them.

A 6 -year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'

'Not yet, ' she replied.

Thought for the Day

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Wednesday...

Opening Day

Current Financial Situation...

Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS(Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES(Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

Management


PS-Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

TGI Fridays Coupon expires 4/30/09

Polite way to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'
'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'

'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''

The teacher fainted

Opening Day @ Fenway?

Fans are wondering, will it be rained out?
Hope not.

Boston Red Sox vs Tampa Bay Rays
2:05 PM
NESN / ESPN2 / MLB.TV

Clean House

Maxine

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES:

ARIES: Forgive your love even though this person didn't ask for it. You are the beneficiary of this act. TAURUS: You give because you want to, not because you know the other person will return the favor. GEMINI: It's safe to be direct about what you expect from a relationship. CANCER: The one who is leaning toward you is really interested -- as more than just friends. LEO: It's a rare moment in love when two people show about the same degree of interest in each other. Savor this period of reciprocity. VIRGO: You'll run into people you like and maybe want to impress, so make sure you look great before you leave the house. LIBRA: Unlike some people you know, your favorite topic of conversation is not yourself. Because of this you'll learn someone's secret heart. SCORPIO: You're so romantic -- and without even trying. SAGITTARIUS: The one who is willing to do what you want to do (even if it's not his or her first choice) is a real keeper. CAPRICORN: You'll make sacrifices for love -- it's so worth it. AQUARIUS: You'll meet up with the one who frequents your dreams. PISCES: Someone's heart quickens when you come into view.

Hump Day is here...

Beware of Wolves in Suits

THE SPECIAL COMMISSION on Pension Reform, which convened for the first time yesterday - specified under Massachusetts law - comprises nine public employees, one retired public employee, three officials from the public-employee retirement systems, and two economists from private universities. By my reckoning, that makes 13 commission members from the public sector and two from the private sector, which calls to mind the old jape about democracy being two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. It's an amusing quip, assuming you're not a sheep.

The special commission is only the latest group to cast a critical gaze at the state's woeful public-employee pension system. In February, the House Special Committee on Pensions issued its report and recommendations - not to be confused with the earlier report and recommendations of the Blue Ribbon Panel on the Massachusetts Pension Classification System, or with the White Paper on Public Pensions prepared by the Pioneer Institute in 2006.

On Monday, meanwhile, Senate President Therese Murray put forth her own package of suggested pension reforms. That was about a week after Governor Deval Patrick had outlined his plan. For the layman, keeping up with this parade of public-pension panels and proposals can be a challenge.

It can be even more challenging - it is certainly more maddening - to keep up with the seemingly endless train of public-pension abuses.

The latest outrage, exposed by Sean Murphy in Sunday's Globe, comes from Revere, where most members of the City Council have figured out a way to collect full pensions while continuing to take a city paycheck.

"One councilor began collecting his city pension without retiring," Murphy reported. "Two others left the council, began collecting their retirement benefits, and returned to the council with no interruption or reduction of their pensions. Some have tacked extra years onto pensions with just a few days' work. They also have used annual bonuses that accumulate for multiple years of service, called 'longevity pay,' to pad their pensions and council salaries simultaneously . . . The combined take for some councilors is more than $85,000 a year." The work is not exactly strenuous: In the course of a year, City Council meets an average of four hours per week.

These pension-abuse stories are never complete without a disobliging brush-off from one of the abusers. "I take what is given to me - that's my stand on it," Councilor George Colella told the Globe.

That has been the attitude for years - the attitude of MBTA employees who retire with full pensions after working just 23 years; the attitude of retirees who get pension credit for volunteering as library trustees or town moderators; the attitude of ex-lawmakers whose pensions soar when they are defeated for reelection or quit under an ethical cloud; the attitude of Boston firefighters whose tax-free disability pensions are fattened if they claim to have been injured while filling in for a supervisor; the attitude of the scores of government retirees who collect annual pensions of $100,000 and up. Like Colella, they will all gladly take every nickel the taxpayers can be coerced or gulled or manipulated into giving.

For years the political class has taken care of its own at taxpayers' expense. That is why so many former public employees enjoy retirement perks far more lucrative than anything typically found in the private sector. "The nation is dividing into two classes of workers: those who have government benefits and those who don't," USA Today noted in 2007. "The gap is accelerating in every way - pensions, medical benefits, retirement ages."

All of that was galling enough when the economy was strong and the Dow was flying high. Now - in the midst of deep recession, with the market prostrate, millions out of work, and retirement portfolios worth far less than they used to be - it is infuriating. Beacon Hill's worthies can feel the growing backlash, which is why they declare so solemnly that pension reform is a "priority."

Well, declarations are easy. True reform - not merely plugging the most egregious abuses uncovered by the media, but thoroughly overhauling the public-pension system - will be much harder. Sweet-talking the sheep won't do the trick. Beacon Hill needs to slay some wolves.

Boston Globe

April Fool's Day

Claim:   April Fools' Day began in the 1500s when the Gregorian calendar took over from the Julian. Those who forgot the change and attempted to celebrate New Year's (previously celebrated on the 1st of April) on the wrong date were teased as "April fools."

See Snopes.com