Monday, August 31, 2009
What my mother taught me...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
And my favorite:
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
Sunday, August 30, 2009
For the Week of Sunday, August 30, 2009
Enjoy a cosmic intermission from the wild action of last week. It's not exactly a period of rest or downtime, but at least the activities are familiar. The circumstances are perfect for assimilating new information and practicing new habits. On Thursday, the square between Mercury and Mars will be exact, so watch your words -- it's far too easy to say the wrong thing! The full moon in Pisces falls on Friday, signifying spiritual union.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You appear to be serving those around you. They are grateful, indeed, though they may not understand that your actions are not exclusively to help them. You are really in service of the divine force of love and goodness, and as you tend to that purpose, everyone around you feels the uplift -- you included.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you want yourself to move, don't ask questions. Information that causes you to stop and ponder won't lead to action. That's because if you think too much, you won't do it. So don't think. Trust your intuitive sense of direction. Spirit trumps knowledge every time. Command yourself to act and then do it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You've been studying human nature all of your life. You don't even realize the breadth of your knowledge, as you take most of it for granted. But you'll meet someone who seems to be new to the topic this week, and you'll be compelled to take this innocent being under your wing. This one will learn -- eventually.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). In case you've fallen a bit out of touch, those around you will act as mirrors, reporting on how you've been treating yourself. If you don't like the way they treat you, change your you-to-you relations and all will be improved. It's amazing how quickly the remedy takes hold. By Thursday there's a turnaround.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You'll move quickly. Money gets "wasted" along the way. It's part of the process, and there's no shame in it. You shouldn't expect yourself to make wise financial moves 100 percent of the time. You'll do your best. And besides, you never know what good the money that was once yours will do as it circulates.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You are usually subtle and sensitive in your communication; however, that method may cause your message to get lost in the cacophony of this week. What you have to say is important. Take measures to grab the attention you want. Once you have it, you can return to your gentle manners.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Know where the boundaries are and observe them. Social rules often go unstated. If you were not born into a family that carefully adheres to the rules, it will help you both in business and in your personal life to deepen your knowledge of etiquette. Formal grooming is available and may be as simple as a library visit.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You are well liked. And though you always want to reciprocate, sometimes it feels as though you are too indebted to do so. Luckily, you will have many opportunities throughout your life to return the affection and kindness you have received. Try not to keep score. Enjoy the generosity bestowed upon you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You are in the driver's seat of your life, though there might be someone in the passenger seat who is advising you on which turn to take. You always have an option. Do not let anyone bully you into decisions. A good GPS system will recalculate the directions to help you get where you're going.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You don't have to know how things work in order to work them. However, you're better off learning how they work anyhow. When there's a problem, it will be easier for you to solve it if you have a basic understanding of how everything comes together. Read, take tutorials and ask questions. Educate yourself.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Where you're traveling, there is no path. It's wild, uncharted territory. You can't sleepwalk there -- you have to have your wits about you. Navigation will take skill, and you'll be solving one problem after another. That's why you need to stay open-minded. Rigid perspectives won't lead you to the Promised Land.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Avoid overanalyzing. Instinct trumps intellect, though you may want to keep that your little secret. There are those around you who need to go through a logical process in order to feel good about a decision. They might be annoyed at how quickly you make powerful and correct choices by just going with your gut.
THIS WEEK'S BIRTHDAYS: You are endowed with a great magnetic attraction and will pull in what you think about most. It's challenging to take charge of your thought processes; however, you will quickly see the benefits of doing so, as well as the dangers of not doing so. Popular and friendly, you may not have time to take advantage of all of the lovely offers made to you through fall. A savvy financial decision brings lifestyle improvements this winter. Spring brings excitement to your love life.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). You appear to be serving those around you. They are grateful, indeed, though they may not understand that your actions are not exclusively to help them. You are really in service of the divine force of love and goodness, and as you tend to that purpose, everyone around you feels the uplift -- you included.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you want yourself to move, don't ask questions. Information that causes you to stop and ponder won't lead to action. That's because if you think too much, you won't do it. So don't think. Trust your intuitive sense of direction. Spirit trumps knowledge every time. Command yourself to act and then do it.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You've been studying human nature all of your life. You don't even realize the breadth of your knowledge, as you take most of it for granted. But you'll meet someone who seems to be new to the topic this week, and you'll be compelled to take this innocent being under your wing. This one will learn -- eventually.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). In case you've fallen a bit out of touch, those around you will act as mirrors, reporting on how you've been treating yourself. If you don't like the way they treat you, change your you-to-you relations and all will be improved. It's amazing how quickly the remedy takes hold. By Thursday there's a turnaround.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You'll move quickly. Money gets "wasted" along the way. It's part of the process, and there's no shame in it. You shouldn't expect yourself to make wise financial moves 100 percent of the time. You'll do your best. And besides, you never know what good the money that was once yours will do as it circulates.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You are usually subtle and sensitive in your communication; however, that method may cause your message to get lost in the cacophony of this week. What you have to say is important. Take measures to grab the attention you want. Once you have it, you can return to your gentle manners.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Know where the boundaries are and observe them. Social rules often go unstated. If you were not born into a family that carefully adheres to the rules, it will help you both in business and in your personal life to deepen your knowledge of etiquette. Formal grooming is available and may be as simple as a library visit.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You are well liked. And though you always want to reciprocate, sometimes it feels as though you are too indebted to do so. Luckily, you will have many opportunities throughout your life to return the affection and kindness you have received. Try not to keep score. Enjoy the generosity bestowed upon you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You are in the driver's seat of your life, though there might be someone in the passenger seat who is advising you on which turn to take. You always have an option. Do not let anyone bully you into decisions. A good GPS system will recalculate the directions to help you get where you're going.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You don't have to know how things work in order to work them. However, you're better off learning how they work anyhow. When there's a problem, it will be easier for you to solve it if you have a basic understanding of how everything comes together. Read, take tutorials and ask questions. Educate yourself.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Where you're traveling, there is no path. It's wild, uncharted territory. You can't sleepwalk there -- you have to have your wits about you. Navigation will take skill, and you'll be solving one problem after another. That's why you need to stay open-minded. Rigid perspectives won't lead you to the Promised Land.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Avoid overanalyzing. Instinct trumps intellect, though you may want to keep that your little secret. There are those around you who need to go through a logical process in order to feel good about a decision. They might be annoyed at how quickly you make powerful and correct choices by just going with your gut.
THIS WEEK'S BIRTHDAYS: You are endowed with a great magnetic attraction and will pull in what you think about most. It's challenging to take charge of your thought processes; however, you will quickly see the benefits of doing so, as well as the dangers of not doing so. Popular and friendly, you may not have time to take advantage of all of the lovely offers made to you through fall. A savvy financial decision brings lifestyle improvements this winter. Spring brings excitement to your love life.
Friday, August 28, 2009
WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST:
ARIES: Group dating is a terrific idea. You'll shine and stand out in the crowd. TAURUS: Make sure that the ones you love are recognized for their contributions. GEMINI: Everyone is in charge of his or own fun. Remember this and you'll have more fun, too. CANCER: Abide by the rules of etiquette and you'll be impressive to new friends. LEO: You know where all the best spots are; give someone a tour. VIRGO: You understand what others are trying to communicate even when they do it very badly. LIBRA: Write down what you're looking for in a mate and you'll attract it. SCORPIO: You're set to "mild" mode, and that's actually a good thing. A date will find you interesting and you haven't even pulled out all of the stops yet. SAGITTARIUS: Push yourself into potentially uncomfortable situations. You'll make everything better and have a story to tell later. CAPRICORN: Rally the troops for some fun, especially those you haven't seen in a while. AQUARIUS: Do not take sides in your friend's dispute, no matter how loyal you may be to your friend. PISCES: Let your sensual nature take over.
COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Virgo and Capricorn are two earth signs who can combine their talents to make a fortune together. Sometimes their working partnership turns into love, and other times their love turns into a working partnership. As long as these two remember to work as hard at filling their relationship with mutual love and respect as they do working on other things, they will be blissfully intertwined.
COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Virgo and Capricorn are two earth signs who can combine their talents to make a fortune together. Sometimes their working partnership turns into love, and other times their love turns into a working partnership. As long as these two remember to work as hard at filling their relationship with mutual love and respect as they do working on other things, they will be blissfully intertwined.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Senator Edward Kennedy dies at 77
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts, the last surviving brother in a political dynasty and one of the most influential senators in history, died Tuesday night at his home in Hyannis Port after a year-long struggle with brain cancer. He was 77.
Kennedy was born at St. Margaret's Hospital in the Dorchester section of Boston, Massachusetts, the youngest of nine children of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr. and Rose Fitzgerald, who were both members of prominent Irish-American families in Boston. He leaves one surviving sibling, Jean Kennedy Smith. Pre-deceased siblings are Joseph P., Jr., John F., Rosemary, Kathleen, Eunice Shriver, Patricia Lawford, and Robert F. Kennedy.
In nearly 50 years in the Senate, Kennedy served alongside 10 presidents — his brother John Fitzgerald Kennedy among them — compiling an impressive list of legislative achievements on health care, civil rights, education, immigration and more.
Fox 25 News - Zip Trip 02151
this Friday morning, August 28th,
when the Fox25 Morning News Team
will be filming it's weekly ZIP TRIP
~ LIVE ~ 5am to 9am
directly across from Kelly's Roast Beef.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Creation
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain."
"God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
A Woman's Perfect Breakfast
sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Rick Springfield is 60 today
Rick Springfield (born Richard Lewis Springthorpe, 23 August 1949, Sydney) is an Australian-American songwriter, musician and actor. As a musician, he is most famous for the 1981 #1 single "Jessie's Girl", which became a Grammy Award-winning landmark of 1980s pop-rock and helped establish the emerging music video age. As an actor, Springfield's best known role is that of the character Dr. Noah Drake on the daytime drama General Hospital. He originated the character from 1981-1983 and then returned to play him again in 2005. He then appeared on Don't Forget The Lyrics in January 2009 to sing "Jessie's Girl" and his new song "What's Victoria's Secret".
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST:
ARIES: Your financial luck is great and a loved one wants a part of it! TAURUS: As long as your friends get along with the one you love, life is sweet. GEMINI: Saying "yes" often brings you weird and wonderful good fortune. CANCER: Your associations enrich you by helping you see the world from another point of view. LEO: You may need more rest and relaxation than usual. Staying in will rejuvenate you. VIRGO: You suddenly think more clearly and imaginatively. LIBRA: Ask friends to connect you, and you will be matched with someone who has exactly what you need. SCORPIO: You want to be the first one that a loved one comes to with problems. Let this person know that you are open. SAGITTARIUS: The lines between friendship and love are blurred. CAPRICORN: The extra care you take to make a favorable impression will work to create exactly the effect you desire. AQUARIUS: Someone new has an eye out for you. If this attention is unwanted, it is still flattering. PISCES: Your love life will be invigorated by a sense of competition.
COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Virgo and Pisces are a brilliant match. Virgo brings the ethereal Pisces into reality. Pisces stretches the boundaries of that reality. They get along best when Virgo remembers that Pisces is sensitive and often just wants to be listened to -- no criticism, analyzing or fixing necessary. And Pisces should remember to give Virgo concrete demonstrations of love because that's what means most to Virgo.
COUPLE OF THE WEEKEND: Virgo and Pisces are a brilliant match. Virgo brings the ethereal Pisces into reality. Pisces stretches the boundaries of that reality. They get along best when Virgo remembers that Pisces is sensitive and often just wants to be listened to -- no criticism, analyzing or fixing necessary. And Pisces should remember to give Virgo concrete demonstrations of love because that's what means most to Virgo.
The Sheer Nightgown
A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer nightgown for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at noon - Closed coffin.
Grandma's Perception!
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car…. She writes:
Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to the local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God!’ ‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, Go!’ What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share his love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your teenage cousin Joey in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. Your cousin burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started to walk towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when they noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light had changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love,
Grandma
Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to the local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God!’ ‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, Go!’ What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share his love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your teenage cousin Joey in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. Your cousin burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started to walk towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when they noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light had changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon,
Love,
Grandma
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Brunette & Blonde Sisters
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'
Lipstick in School
(Priceless!)
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints..
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show t he girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers and then there are educators!
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints..Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show t he girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers and then there are educators!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
How to start each day with a positive outlook...
1. Open a new file in your computer. 2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly click YES!
7. Feel better?
GOOD - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Freedom and Jeff
Freedom and I have been together 10 years this summer. She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings. Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery, it was broken in 4 places. She's my baby.
When Freedom came in she could not stand and both wings were broken. She was emaciated and covered in lice. We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vets office. From then on, I was always around her. We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in. I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight; and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes. We also had to tube feed her for weeks.
This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand. It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week. You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning. She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I went immediately back to her cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day.
We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her. I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington . We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV. Miracle Pets even did a show about us.
In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins lymphoma. I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo. Lost the hair - the whole bit. I missed a lot of work. When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time and time again.
Fast forward to November 2000, the day after Thanksgiving. I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant. Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back Monday for the results. I went in Monday, and I was told that all the cancer was gone.
So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill. I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew. She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long. That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.
On a side note: I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them. I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power coarse through his body. I have so many stories like that.
I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom. Hope you enjoy this.
AC Repair
When the man at the auto repair shop told me that it would cost $1400 to fix my car's air conditioning, I just laughed at him and said, "I can fix it myself for a whole lot less than that! MY MOMMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL !!!!!!!"
Gives a whole new meaning to Redneck!
Two Catholic Boys
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives parallel each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland , Antonio was born in Italy.
Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.
Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.
Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the Next Pope.
In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.
In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.
The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!
Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified.
With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"
After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply. "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SECOLA.
Faithfully they attended parochial School from kindergarten through their senior year in high school. They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation, became priests.
Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio Secola was just a cut above Timothy Murphy in all respects.
Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop and finally Cardinal was swift to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be one of the two who would become the Next Pope.
In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work.
In less time than anyone had expected, white smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen.
The world, Catholic, Protestant and secular, was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope!
Antonio Secola was beyond surprise. He was devastated, because even with all of Timothy's gifts, Antonio knew he was the better qualified.
With gall that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio Secola asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"
After a long silence, an old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered man and rose to reply. "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called POPE SECOLA.
Thought for the Day...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Appeared on Boston.com as: Dude Looks Like (an old) Lady
Hmm. Judging from this photo of Steven Tyler and actor Chuck Slavin at Pembroke Center Liquors, the Aerosmith singer is indeed in no shape to continue the band's summer tour. Tyler's arm is in a sling as a result of a broken shoulder suffered when he fell off the stage in South Dakota. (Those Zsa Zsa Gabor glasses aren't doing him any favors.) In an apology over the weekend to fans via Twitter, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry made it sound like it wasn't his idea to cancel the remainder of the tour. "I am so sorry about vocalist Steven Tyler having to cancel our Aerosmith shows," wrote Perry. "I can't say I'm sorry enough you guys are great fans to have." Perry's solo CD "Have Guitar, Will Travel," featuring a German singer named Hagen, is out Oct. 13th.
He really looks rough. I wish him a speedy recovery.
The Ant & the Grasshopper
Two Different Versions! ... Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident.
And the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Rev. Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident.
And the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Wounded Warriors Diaries
Joseph Ruggiero
BM1, U.S. Coast Guard
Wounded Warrior Diaries: Coast Guardsman Reflects on Heroism in Gulf
By Navy Lt. Jennifer Cragg
Special to American Forces Press Service
WASHINGTON, August 5, 2009 – Petty Officer 1st Class Joseph Ruggiero’s heroic actions more than five years ago saved lives and earned him the first Purple Heart awarded to a Coast Guardsman since the Vietnam War.
Ruggiero entered the service May 1, 2000, not knowing what the future would hold for him. His father, who served in the U.S. Marines in Vietnam, also served in the federal government for nearly four decades before retiring.
“I always wanted to be a cop or something in law enforcement, especially back then, the Coast Guard wasn’t really known for its law enforcement, and it has come a long way,” Ruggiero said.
Ruggiero fulfilled those law enforcement goals, deploying overseas four times -- three times to the Persian Gulf and once to the Mediterranean Sea -- during his first four years while assigned to Tactical Law Enforcement Team South, also known as TACLET.
Petty Officer 1st Class Joseph Ruggiero became the first Coast Guardsman since the Vietnam War to earn the Purple Heart award, after he saved lives during an enemy boat explosion in the northern Arabian Gulf in April 2004 while his unit was on patrol. Coast Guard photo
He recalled the fateful events of 2004 when he was attached to the TACLET’s Law Enforcement Detachment team 403.
”We were deployed over to the Persian Gulf in late February, and were scheduled to stay until early June,” he said. “On the morning of April 23, we deployed on a coastal Navy patrol craft called the USS Firebolt that was deployed to the Persian Gulf in the spring of 2004.”
Firebolt and Ruggiero’s detachment arrived in the northern Arabian Gulf on the morning of April 24. They were tasked with maintaining and establishing a security zone around the Khawr al Amaya Oil Terminal by cautioning and redirecting vessels, mostly local fishing boats called dhows, to remain two miles clear of the structure.
In the evening, the crew, comprising two Coast Guardsman and five Navy sailors, left the Firebolt on a rigid hull inflatable boat to conduct patrols around the terminal. “We were tasked that day, along with the Australian navy, to clear out the fishing dhows around the oil platform,” he explained.
When they arrived at the oil terminal, they set up a two-mile security zone, passing out information pamphlets to dhows in a two-mile vicinity. They conducted a visit, board, search and seizure mission on board a 400-foot ship, but mostly interdicted dhows, Ruggiero said.
After securing these vessels, they were tasked to check out an incoming vessel on the other side of the terminal platform. This unidentified vessel was traveling on a course that would bring it too close to the oil terminal for comfort.
Something Wasn’t Right
“We came around on the other side of the platform. This is where the significance of this came in. This boat was very different than the norm you would see over there,” Ruggiero said. The “norm,” Ruggiero said,
was a boat that was “nothing pretty to look at, that’s all wood in construction with in-board engines.” Ruggiero, who was serving his second tour in the Persian Gulf, was familiar with the fishing boats, and was immediately on guard when his crew approached the vessel.
“As we were approaching this vessel, I noticed that it looked brand new. It had a brand-new paint job, outboard engines, and no fishing gear on the deck whatsoever. All I could see was one person on deck,” he said.
Ruggiero said the crew aboard a dhow typically will have five to 15 people, depending on the length of the vessel.
The vessel, maintaining a speed of about 20 knots, forced the crew to maintain a relatively safe distance of 10 to 15 feet from the vessel.
Ruggiero noted that the incoming vessel had outboard engines, unmarked, and possibly too small for the 30-foot vessel.
“The outboards were loud and putting out a very smoky exhaust,” he recalled. “That was just one indicator that the boat was loaded with something heavy or the engines may have been too small, or unequipped for that size of a vessel.”
In just 45 seconds, everything changed. As the crew pulled alongside the vessel, due to the language barrier, they used hand signals to gain the attention of the boat’s driver and inform him to slow or stop. Instead, he sped away from the oil terminal, but then quickly returned, and moved toward the oil terminal at full speed.
“We then looped around the vessel to gain a better position,” Ruggiero said. “We again tried to establish communications with the man on the vessel when he suddenly turned the boat very sharp and was heading directly toward us. [We] attempted to turn away from the vessel and opened up a distance of 15 to 20 feet when the vessel then exploded.”
In the Face of Danger
“When the explosion happened, I was basically looking at the boat,” he said. The blast capsized the boat, “throwing everyone into the water in all different directions.”
“[I was later told by] my shipmates and other Navy sailors, as soon as the blast went off, they were about 150 yards from us; they didn’t see anyone emerge from the water for at least a full minute,” Ruggiero said.
Leaning on his prior service and training, “I first pulled my lanyard on my life jacket, when the only thing that happened was air escaping from it causing it not to inflate,” he said. “I then tried to stop spinning in the water,” which was caused by forcefully being thrown into the water. Ruggiero knew he needed to let his natural buoyancy take over to help him reach the surface.
When he reached the surface, he looked around, attempting to gain his bearings, and saw that his boat was capsized. His first instinct was to search for the remaining crew. While looking for his fellow crew members and dodging the falling debris, he realized his lifejacket was in shreds.
“As I was turning around in the water trying to see if anything or anyone was around me, my hand hit the hose to my camel pack, which is normally used to hold drinking water,” Ruggiero said. “But knowing I drank most of the water early in the day I blew air into the hose, which inflated the blater resulting in it becoming a modified flotation device.”
Despite being wounded in the explosion -- his eardrums appeared to be ruptured, his right arm was wounded and face was bleeding and swollen from the blast -- Ruggiero remained calm. He needed to help his fellow crew members.
The first person Ruggiero found after coming to the surface was Coast Guardsman Petty Officer 3rd Class Nathan Bruckenthal. “The back of his head was hit many times,” he recalled, and Bruckenthal was falling in and out of consciousness.
While swimming with Bruckenthal on his chest, Ruggiero then saw the coxswain, Navy Petty Officer 1st Class A.R. Daley, whose arm was badly injured. After swimming with Bruckenthal and locating Daley alongside the boat, his first intention was to take them both toward the Firebolt.
Before doing so, he scanned the surroundings and found Navy Petty Officer 1st Class Michael J. Pernaselli floating face down 50 yards away. Pernaselli was the leading boatswain's mate and a machine-gun operator on board the Firebolt. Ruggiero secured Bruckenthal and Daley on the boat and swam toward Pernaselli. With the current’s strength of eight knots, Ruggiero swiftly reached Pernaselli’s location. However, once there, he discovered Pernaselli was dead on impact.
“Right then and there I realized that we only worked with this Navy group not even a day, we really didn’t know anyone personally. The only person that I knew was Mike Pernaselli,” he said.
On instinct, without regard to his personal injuries, Ruggiero started to tow Pernaselli’s body against the current that had aided him swiftly through the water nearly five minutes earlier. After swimming against the current and fighting to see and breathe through the rotor wash from the helicopter above for nearly 20 minutes, he arrived at the capsized boat.
The helicopter was barely 15 feet above him and was involved in trying to help Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Christopher E. Watts by lowering a cable to pull him out of the water.
As three other crew members were being rescued, including Bruckenthal and Daley, Ruggiero waited aboard the capsized boat trying to regain his breath. “I straddled the keel of the capsized [boat] and pulled Mike’s body across my legs,” he said.
“I later re-entered the water from the capsized [boat] with Mike’s body and started swimming back towards the Firebolt where I was assisted by two shipmates, who jumped into the water from the Firebolt. The three of us, while pulling Mike’s body, eventually made it close enough to the Firebolt where we were given a line and pulled in towards the ship,” Ruggiero said.
He later learned that his team member’s actions that day prevented a large-scale attack that would have caused severe damage to the oil pipeline or destruction of the offshore oil terminals.
In the explosion, Ruggiero’s fellow Coast Guardsman, Bruckenthal, and two sailors, Pernaselli and Watts, were killed, and four others wounded.
“We are all indebted to the boatcrew involved that fateful day, for they put others before themselves,” said Captain Gail Kulisch, acting commander for the Deployable Operations Group, the Coast Guard command responsible for overseeing tactical law enforcement teams. “BM1 Ruggiero’s heroic attempts to save the crew and his actions epitomize our service’s core values.”
A Salute to Heroes
Ruggiero was awarded the Purple Heart for injuries sustained while defending the terminal, and the Bronze Star with a Combat “V” for Valor for his rescue efforts. Ruggiero's shipmate team member and friend, Bruckenthal, was posthumously given the same awards.
“I returned to the Persian Gulf by choice about a year and a half after the attack,” Ruggiero said. “I conducted missions around the oil terminals and actually lived on one of the terminals for about two weeks training Iraqi marines on how to conduct boardings.”
Today, Ruggiero still deals with lingering effects from the explosion. He said that for nearly a year and a half after the explosion his biggest concern was difficulty hearing and bleeding from his ears. He currently is having dental work completed to realign his jaw.
(This is the 12th installment of the Wounded Warrior Diaries series. Navy Lt. Jennifer Cragg works in the Defense Media Activity’s emerging media directorate.)
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